Really Good Omens
by Hardluck Joesephine
Summary: This is just a little het I wrote up real quick. Multiple chapters to come, short but sweet. Good Omens is copyright of  Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Beth is mine yo. Enjoy.
1. Sin's Up

Crowley sat at the table in the restaurant getting drunker and drunker with his angelic companion, Aziraphale. They droned on and on about the end of the world, humanity and what not. But something or actually someone had caught Crowley's shaded eyes. There was an audacious Lady sitting at a table in the corner, with her eyes, nose, and mind buried deep in some trashy romance novel. You could tell it was a trashy romance novel by the Fabio look alike on the cover with some impossibly shaped girl looking longingly into the buff man's eyes.

"Crowley…" Aziraphale questioned him futilely and drunkenly.

Crowley continued to study this intriguing Female with a grand interest. His mind was being enveloped with the image of this Woman. This strange Woman…

The Lady was wearing a tighter than tight crimson tank top which was exposing her cleavage quite beautifully. Crowley snapped and a breeze blew up the silken table cloth at her corner seat to show the Woman's long Cuban heeled stocking legs and a tighter than tight black leather mini skirt. On her precious feet was a pair of spiked high heels that matched the color of her tank top. Incredible sense of style…

As Crowley smirked, another light wind came by just in the nick of time so he could watch her uncross and re-cross her lengthy legs, exposing a tinier than tiny black g-string.

Crowley's brain went over a thousand, maybe millions of things he could do with those lovely stems.

"Crowley?" Aziraphale started to loose his patience and his buzz.

Crowley licked his lips and something happened that no one but he, and maybe the angel could see.

"CROWLEY!" Aziraphale finally had had quite enough of being ignored.

"Hum…" Crowley finally replied nonchalantly, but never shifted his gaze from the Temptress sitting in the corner.

"What, or in fact, who are you..." Then the angel looked Crowley up and down, discovering what exactly had changed. "Oh my G..."

The angel finally noticed. Crowley slapped a hand over Aziraphale's mouth. "Quiet!" He hissed. "We don't want everybody to know!"

"And what deadly sin did you get THAT for? Wrath?" The angel questioned him like a giddy school girl.

Crowley rolled his eyes. It was guessing game time! "No."

"Can't be Gluttony."

"Nope"

"Hmmm, Envy?"

"Huh, I could, but no. Wrong again."

"It couldn't be Sloth."

"HA! Way off."

"What about Greed?"

"Psht, keep trying."

"AH HA! I got it! Pride!"

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Huh, no, that one could only be used on myself."

"Ah, only one left then." Aziraphale's drunken stare scanned the room. His eyes landed and locked on the tantalizing Woman. "Ah I see, Lust."

"Bingo," Crowley hissed again, this time in delight. "I have plans for her…"

"So you were, er, well endowed by Hell to corrupt her?" Aziraphale actually raised an eyebrow, still looking at the Temptress.

"Right again angel." Crowley snapped and another breeze came by her table.

He bit his lower lip as the sensuous woman adjusted her extensive legs again. Aziraphale rolled his eyes and raised his hand, ordering another bottle of drink from the passing by waiter.

"Well go on…" The angel coaxed Crowley. "What are you waiting for?"

"There," Crowley stammered and then shivered. "There's something about Her. I can't seem to put my finger on it. Her eyes haven't even budged from that damned book! Not even with the wind blowing up her skirt!!!" He paused to actually look at Aziraphale. "And you're approving of this?"

"NO!" The angel shot a look back at Crowley as he protested. "I just need some time to roll over everything in my mind we just discussed. That is all."

"Uh huh." And with those last words, Crowley stood up and slithered over to the sexy Woman's table.

As he sat nearly beside her, Crowley finally saw her face. Well, most of it. The Woman's hair was as black as a raven and styled into a pristine bun at the crown of her head. Her lips were painted sinfully scarlet. Her long black lashes and chocolate eyelids batted once as Crowley squirmed a bit closer to her, but she stayed focused on her book.

"Hello…" This time, Crowley nearly bit his tongue to keep himself from hissing.

The Temptress licked a long and slender ringed finger, turned the page of her novel, and then replied to him. "Hello there…"

Crowley could feel her mouth trying not to smile. Or maybe not.

"Why, may I ask, is a gorgeous woman like yourself reading a romance novel," Crowley let out a short low and soft chuckle. "When you could be out making one happen?"

The Woman stirred. She slowly lowered the trashy romance novel and without shifting her eyes, spoke once again. "Why Crawlee, I didn't know you were such a Casanova." She let out a swift sensual giggle. "Or is it Crowley now?"

Crowley blinked in shock as the Woman laughed and raised her eyes to meet his own shaded ones. Finally he realized who this mystery Woman was; she was Baalberith. The Secretary of Hell herself. A fellow fallen angel, in fact. Well, more like she had just wandered off the golden path. Crowley wondered how she got so high up on the food chain of Hell, but it didn't matter. He was right up there with her…

"Well, well, well…" Crowley leaned back into his chair and laced his fingers together at the back of his neck. "Long time no see, my dear Baalberith."

She smiled her seductive smile once again. "It's good to see you're, er, well" She was attempting casual conversation. "And please, call me Beth…"

"It's good to see you too, Beth." Crowley leaned in close to her as he spoke, placing his hands in his lap to steady himself.

She smelt of burnt roses, so strong and intoxicating that it caused Crowley's eye's to roll back into his skull and then flutter back into place. Thank You-Know-Who for inventing sun glasses.

"So, I hear it's the end of the world." Beth smirked. "The Antichrist running around and what not. In Hell you're pretty respected you know."

Crowley muttered. "Yeah, whatever. So what are You doing here?"

What he meant by _here_ was on _Earth_, -- not in Hell doing respectable secretary work.

Beth cocked her head to the side and looked at Crowley's eyes through his sunglasses. "Well, to be honest I needed a vacation. Hell and Its paper work can get quite boring." She snorted exasperatedly. "Not that you would know about that…"

Crowley found everything she was doing to be incredibly sexy, even when she was being condescending.

"Ah, I just enjoy the pleas… er, Sin's of the Flesh." He winked behind his glasses. "You, at least by now should know what I mean."

She furrowed her brow at him. "No," Beth stated. "I don't."

Was she angry? Was she thinking Crowley called her a Whore of Babylon? Well, not like that was a bad thing for them to think. But they were now both human. He quickly replied to her.

"Nonononono, I didn't mean anything horrid by it. Just, ah I don't know." Crowley leaned back into the chair again and sighed.

Beth smiled at him and leaned in closer to him this time. "Huh, remember when you used to taunt me while I was filing? Pinching me, making me spill my papers and what not…"

Crowley did hiss as he laughed this time. "Yeah."

"It was awfully cute."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…" Beth gave him a wink.

Crowley smiled and thought to Aziraphale. _I'll see you later, angel…_

To which Aziraphale chuckled. _I see. I guess that leaves me with the check._

And with that being said, the angel stood up completely sober and walked outside and back to his book shop in Soho.


	2. Your Place Or Mine

Crowley was left all alone with the beautiful and enticing Beth. He wondered if she had to change in order to commit a certain sin, wouldn't she? He came to a decision that he frankly didn't care at all. He merely looked her up and down licking his lips seductively.

"So," He started "You came for a vacation, eh? Did he give you the, package deal?"

Beth erupted in laughter then answered him calmly as she could. "Maybe and Maybe not, but that's for me to know," She paused leaning in close. So close he could feel her breath against his cheek. "And you to find out."

Then Crowley thought, _if it's just a vacation, how come I can feel her breath? _But as soon as the thought entered his mind, it left it just as quickly. Just looking at her could put a mortal man in a tizzy. Crowley was a demon and of course not a mortal man, but she was still making him drunk with her beauty. Beth.


End file.
